Get a Clue Like Us
Oboes and Violet try to info out of the Elf. PART TWO OF AN EPIC THREE-PARTER. Characters *Oboes Bi *Violet *??? Elf Transcript ???: My name is... (Violet's robot comes crashing down into the cave.) Violet: Hey buddy! ???: GODDAMMIT! That's the last time any robot is going to crash into my cave! Oboes: What's your fucking name?! ???: Oh, sorry. The name's Horatio Magellan Christopher Joseph Elf. But just call me H.M.C.J. Elf. Oboes: Can I call you C.J Elf? C.J. Elf: Fine, but you're disgracing the family name. Oboes: I really could care less. Violet: So Elf, you remember me? C.J: Why yes! I was experimenting on you when one of your idiot friends crashed in. Violet: Hey, Red is not an idiot! (They both stare at her blankly.) Violet: Okay, he is, Elf: So shall we get back to our experiment sweety? (Oboes roundhouse kicks C.J. to the ground, and stomps on him.) Oboes: Listen, Elf boy. One, I am not SWEETY. Second, why do you want to experiment on me anyway?! Elf: Well, you see, I came here from a continent completely inhabited by elves. The Elf King and Queen sent me on a mission to gather info about you humans. And the best place I found to do the experiments was this inconspicuous cave! Oboes: (quietly) Fuckin' A... (loudly) Okay C.J, I'm gonna let you go. Violet: WHAT?! How do you know that he's not going to enslave humanity or some shit?! C.J: Because I'm just a small little elf! Why would I do such a thing? Elves are happy creatures! Although most of elves are born with Tourettes' Syndrome... Violet: That explains Lord Tourettes so well. (C.J starts shaking uncontrollably.) Violet: W-what? Was it something I said? C.J: Dicendum, quod Daemon non ... Oboes: He's fluent in Latin... C.J: Et anima eius vacua est custodia ... Occidit reliqua familia ... Moribus levissimo ... Est an profana ... (C.J starts rapidly growing bigger and bigger.) Oboes: It was the mentioning of L.T. that provoked him! (Oboes and Violet look up to see C.J obscured by clouds.) Violet: Oh shit... (Violet grabs Oboes shoulders.) Violet: Oboes, before we die, I have one last wish. (Oboes looks at her intently.) Violet: Can I touch your boobs? Oboes: *sigh*... Fine. (She begins squeezing them.) Violet: Wow, these are soft. Oboes: Okay, get off! This isn't like that other series! Violet: Okay fine. C.J: I WILL DESTROY ALL LIFE! (Oboes and Violet begin running towards C.J.) C.J: HAHA...PUNY HUMANS! YOU WILL NEVER KILL ME! Oboes: Oh, really? C.J: HMM? (C.J looks at Oboes.) Oboes: I said I'm going to fuck you up. C.J: WELL, GOOD LUCK! (He completely destroys a random apartment building to show his power.) C.J: DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT NOW- (Oboes kicks his eye.) C.J: OW! HOLY SHIT, THAT HURT! Oboes: Pussy! C.J: OH, FUCK YOU!!! (Violet and Oboes begin running up C.J's leg.) Oboes: We're gonna getcha, C.J! (They start running faster and faster.) C.J: B-BUT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Violet: This is so much fun! (They both jump in the air, as C.J turns around to see Violet and Oboes ready to strike.) What did you think of this episode? Gross. (1/5) Less gross. (2/5) Good. (3/5) Better. (4/5) Awesome! (5/5) Category:Episodes Category:Dick Sticks Category:December Releases